Well, I finally have done it. For awhile, I have been on the fence about starting a blog. I wanted to share my thoughts, but have not had, or rather, made the time to start writing. You see, I am the type of person who volunteers and signs up for a lot. I don't like to say no, and when I do, I often feel like I am missing out on all the fun or not doing enough. So, since I tend to fill up all of my free time trying to do everything, I end up not having free time at all or time for activities for myself. This feeling of "not enough" is part of the three "malas."
What are the malas you ask? Malas are the veils or cloaks in life that prevent us from seeing our true nature, our intrinsic goodness and divine self. It can result in us not thinking that we are good enough, a disconnection from others, and preoccupation with ourself or our "ego." These feelings are summed up into Anava Mala, Maiya Mala, and Karma Mala.
Anava Mala:
The malas begin with Anava Mala, the mala that causes low self-esteem. It is the mala that prevents us from seeing how great we really are. It is the mala that makes us feel like we are small and alone. We forget that we have all the tools within ourselves to be happy and good, or rather that we are good just the way we are. It's the mala of impurity and inadequacy.
Maiya Mala:
The Anava Mala then usually leads one into the Maiya Mala- the mala that causes us to think that we are different and separate from others. It can lead to one being overly critical of oneself, resulting in us feeling all alone. We worry about what other people will think of us. It's the comparison mala. Have you ever been envious of another student in yoga class who can do a pose that you struggle with, then you end up feeling bad about yourself?
Karma Mala:
Last, the Karma Mala is the mala that causes a sense of hopelessness- that your self worth is measured by how much you can do. This mala has led me to be a perfectionist in life, to try to overachieve, and the feeling that I have to do everything by myself. It's the mala that causes the fear that if I say no, then I am not doing enough- that I am lacking, and if I don't do it, then no one will. So, what do I usually do? I tend to compensate by trying to be perfect, by signing up and volunteering whenever I can, by trying to be super woman, and not trusting that there are others who can also do the work at hand, or that if it isn't done, that it's okay. My compensation for this usually results in burn out and the feeling that I do not have enough time or resources. Or worse, that people will disapprove and not like me, which is essentially all the malas wrapped into one. So, the malas cycle back and forth with one another. Dang those terrible feedback mala loops!
My 2013 Intentions:
So, with that in mind, I have set my 2013 intentions on combating the malas. (I no longer make New Year's Resolutions, as I think resolutions often set people up for failure. The difference between an intention and a resolution is that an intention is focused on small actions that you can do daily. Rather than having a resolution that is dependent on a particular outcome, an intention is more about the process and mindful actions you can take. Intentions are also much more forgiving.)
The mala that I most identify with is the Karma Mala. I have always been very busy in life and have lived by the phrase, "if not me, than who?"- a great phrase, but not so much in my case. So, the past few months, I have been trying to slow down. I've begun to meditate more regularly and have learned to say "no" more often. I realize that I do not have to do everything. So, for 2013, I am going to continue on this path. I have stopped over-volunteering so that I can have more free and down time. Before, I volunteered because I thought no one else would. That if I didn't, then bad things would happen, so I said yes and then resented not having any free time. I will choose my activities mindfully and will be much more present and engaged when I do volunteer. It will no longer be a chore, but rather an uplifting experience from the heart and not part of my long "to do list."
In addition, I also intend to be more kind and patient with myself and others. I am generally pretty empathetic with others and would like to say much more patient than I ever was as a kid- although more patience in life is always worth striving towards. Yet, with myself, I tend to lack the patience and care that I show towards others. I, once again, am hard on myself. My intention is to recognize when I am judging myself and when I am rushing.To pause and exhale completely. To give myself a break every now and then, to take care of myself and to forgive myself when I forget. It doesn't mean that I am complacent or not responsible for my actions. But, when I do mess up, to acknowledge it, do what I can to own up to my mistakes, and then to forgive and move on. To not beat myself up about it and to move forward, while recognizing the lessons I may have learned.
Thanks for reading. I am curious, what are your New Year's intentions or resolutions? I'd love to hear your feedback.
Here's to a fabulous and healthy 2013! Happy New Year!
What are the malas you ask? Malas are the veils or cloaks in life that prevent us from seeing our true nature, our intrinsic goodness and divine self. It can result in us not thinking that we are good enough, a disconnection from others, and preoccupation with ourself or our "ego." These feelings are summed up into Anava Mala, Maiya Mala, and Karma Mala.
Anava Mala:
The malas begin with Anava Mala, the mala that causes low self-esteem. It is the mala that prevents us from seeing how great we really are. It is the mala that makes us feel like we are small and alone. We forget that we have all the tools within ourselves to be happy and good, or rather that we are good just the way we are. It's the mala of impurity and inadequacy.
Maiya Mala:
The Anava Mala then usually leads one into the Maiya Mala- the mala that causes us to think that we are different and separate from others. It can lead to one being overly critical of oneself, resulting in us feeling all alone. We worry about what other people will think of us. It's the comparison mala. Have you ever been envious of another student in yoga class who can do a pose that you struggle with, then you end up feeling bad about yourself?
Karma Mala:
Last, the Karma Mala is the mala that causes a sense of hopelessness- that your self worth is measured by how much you can do. This mala has led me to be a perfectionist in life, to try to overachieve, and the feeling that I have to do everything by myself. It's the mala that causes the fear that if I say no, then I am not doing enough- that I am lacking, and if I don't do it, then no one will. So, what do I usually do? I tend to compensate by trying to be perfect, by signing up and volunteering whenever I can, by trying to be super woman, and not trusting that there are others who can also do the work at hand, or that if it isn't done, that it's okay. My compensation for this usually results in burn out and the feeling that I do not have enough time or resources. Or worse, that people will disapprove and not like me, which is essentially all the malas wrapped into one. So, the malas cycle back and forth with one another. Dang those terrible feedback mala loops!
My 2013 Intentions:
So, with that in mind, I have set my 2013 intentions on combating the malas. (I no longer make New Year's Resolutions, as I think resolutions often set people up for failure. The difference between an intention and a resolution is that an intention is focused on small actions that you can do daily. Rather than having a resolution that is dependent on a particular outcome, an intention is more about the process and mindful actions you can take. Intentions are also much more forgiving.)
The mala that I most identify with is the Karma Mala. I have always been very busy in life and have lived by the phrase, "if not me, than who?"- a great phrase, but not so much in my case. So, the past few months, I have been trying to slow down. I've begun to meditate more regularly and have learned to say "no" more often. I realize that I do not have to do everything. So, for 2013, I am going to continue on this path. I have stopped over-volunteering so that I can have more free and down time. Before, I volunteered because I thought no one else would. That if I didn't, then bad things would happen, so I said yes and then resented not having any free time. I will choose my activities mindfully and will be much more present and engaged when I do volunteer. It will no longer be a chore, but rather an uplifting experience from the heart and not part of my long "to do list."
In addition, I also intend to be more kind and patient with myself and others. I am generally pretty empathetic with others and would like to say much more patient than I ever was as a kid- although more patience in life is always worth striving towards. Yet, with myself, I tend to lack the patience and care that I show towards others. I, once again, am hard on myself. My intention is to recognize when I am judging myself and when I am rushing.To pause and exhale completely. To give myself a break every now and then, to take care of myself and to forgive myself when I forget. It doesn't mean that I am complacent or not responsible for my actions. But, when I do mess up, to acknowledge it, do what I can to own up to my mistakes, and then to forgive and move on. To not beat myself up about it and to move forward, while recognizing the lessons I may have learned.
Thanks for reading. I am curious, what are your New Year's intentions or resolutions? I'd love to hear your feedback.
Here's to a fabulous and healthy 2013! Happy New Year!
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